Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Highest grossing weekend movie “Meet the Spartans” suggested as one of the possible signs of nearing apocalypse

You may not have noticed it, or maybe don't even care, but this weekend Hollywood unleashed one of the most hideous and insulting movies to ever grace an American movie screen, and that’s saying a lot. I wouldn’t be as disgruntled if “Meet the Spartans” had done poorly, but somehow the movie enticed enough people for it to gross 18.7 million, making it number one in the box office.

My first thought was to say, “This movie is a reflection of our society's desensitized and eroding social values from our over saturated pop culture hyper-commercialism, as well as a depreciation of and indifference for the art of filmmaki...", but no, it would be too generous to analyze it. This “movie” instead just convinces me that American audiences are genuinely in a daze. You know when someone says to you, “This movie is dumb” as they're watching it? Well, now I don’t know if there is a reason to even say that phrase anymore, because “dumb” sounds refreshing compared to what this movie is.

It’s not like I’m just hating on movie spoof/parodies. The “Naked Gun” series and the first two “Scary Movies” although ridiculous, are really well made, and I stress well made. Those films have some actual thought processes behind them. But these new films such as "Date Movie" and "Epic Movie" hardly include a plot let alone jokes. They’re simply jumbled and shallow REFRENCES TO POP CULTURE. And although I can argue that these references are not only unfunny, but questionably immoral, what’s really immoral is people finding this as an acceptable form of entertainment. There is no longer any craft put into these films nor will there be for any film like to come. In fact, I’m so confident that this film is bereft of any talent or ability I will demonstrate:

Just pick a pop culture event from each column and insert into each blank space.

A group of _________ defend their land from the menacing_______ and along the way run into__________who help teach them to___________ so they can go back to___________.

Congratulations! You see how easy that was? And you can do that with any pop culture event! You are now a writer of a major motion picture. Who needs professional writers when you can do the same thing for a fraction of the cost? Oh, is that why the writer’s guild is on strike? Huh, you learn something new everyday.

Update (2/6/08); Seems as though The Soup agrees.

Update (5/5/08); ...and so does Maddox.